When a Customer Won’t Stop Talking and Is Getting Abusive on the Phone #1
Robert Bacal
THE SITUATION
People tend to be somewhat more aggressive on the phone than when talking in person. Sometimes a customer calls and begins an angry “rant,” which includes insults, swearing, or other abusive behavior. It’s best to try to derail the rant gently. If the main technique in Item 14 (telephone silence) doesn’t work, a firmer approach is needed. In this example, you want to stop the person so you can help and send the message that you’ll help but not unless the person stops swearing or otherwise ceases the offending behaviors.
TECHNIQUES USED
■ Empathy Statements (1)
■ Set Limits (2)
■ Offering Choices/Empowering (3)
■ Assurances of Effort (4)
■ Broken Record (5)
DIALOGUE
The customer wants some help with an issue and has been talking with the employee on the phone almost continuously for two or three minutes. In the last minute or two, the customer has started swearing and calling the employee names. In the example below, you’ll see how to set limits on the caller’s behavior to encourage him or her to stop the negative talk that’s offensive to you and interferes with your ability to help.
Customer: What are you, a [blanking] idiot? I’m fed up with you people, and I’m fed up with you.You don’t 17. When a Customer Won’t Stop Talking and Is Getting Abusive on the Phone #1 90 seem to know your [blank] from a hole in the ground.
Employee: Sir, I understand you’re upset (1), but if you continue to yell and swear, I’ll have to end the conversation (2). It’s up to you whether you would like to continue (3).
Customer: I’d like you to get my damned check. Is that too much to ask?
Employee: I’ll certainly try to help you with this (4), but I need your promise that you won’t yell or swear at me (5). OK (3)?
Customer: Yeah, OK [reluctant]. Let’s continue.
Employee: OK, good. I need to ask a few questions.
EXPLANATIONS
Notice that the employee began her response with an empathy statement (1) to soften the impact of setting limits later. She sets some limits that are specific and clear, sending the message that if the customer swears or yells, she’ll terminate the phone call (2). It’s important when setting limits to be as specific as possible and avoid general comments like “If you don’t calm down . . . ” or “If you aren’t prepared to be civil . . . ” Describe the specific problem behaviors.
Pay special attention to the statement used in the limit setting—“It’s up to you whether you’d like to continue.” We want to send the message that the customer is in control of whether the conversation continues and that the employee won’t be punishing the customer or doing something to him or her. You want it to be clear that it’s the customer’s choice as to whether the conversation continues. 91
You can also see the use of several other techniques here. The employee uses reassurance (4) that she will indeed help, provided the customer stops yelling and swearing, and she completes the limit-setting process by using the “Broken Record” technique (5) to encourage the customer to make a specific commitment to stop the destructive behavior. She follows the repetition with a question—“OK?” This question reinforces that she’s interested in the agreement of the customer and feels that they can work together.
In this case, setting limits works. There are two other possibilities to consider. The customer might continue to yell and swear. Or, the customer agrees to stop, but then steps over the agreed-on limits. We’ll look at these in the next situation.
HINTS
Setting limits isn’t threatening or warning. Use a matterof- fact voice because you’re simply stating a fact. Use the same voice and tone you would use to say, “If you go out in the rain without an umbrella, you’re going to get wet.”
Within reason, you can draw your own lines regarding what’s acceptable and unacceptable customer behavior, subject to the expectations of your employer. It’s useful to allow some wiggle room for customers, because, on occasion, brief unpleasant outbursts will cease on their own and you can then help the customer.
See Also: 14. When a Customer Won’t Stop Talking on the Phone, 18. When a Customer Won't Stop Talking and Is Getting Abusive on the Phone #2